Why would a suicidal individual try to change the clinical guidelines for schizophrenia and try to change the prognosis of the victims of the label of schizophrenia?

(Suicidality = suicidal suffering, feelings and thoughts)

When I read the revised clinical guidelines for schizophrenia published 10-15 years ago I knew they were wrong by which I mean they were based on the best available science but they were extremely inadequate when it comes to bettering the lives and outcomes (the prognosis) of the victims of the label of schizophrenia. The national mental health charity Rethink agreed with these recommendations and that’s how I got involved after they sent me an email to write to my MP to recommend these guidelines were carried out – I have no idea why Rethink agreed with these recommendations. I am victim of the label of schizophrenia spectrum disorders so I know exactly how bad psychiatric and mental health care is but the clinical guidelines are about the best the scientific method can do to recommend the best thing and they were completely inadequate recommendations.

I’d spent a lot of time feeling suicidal on and off before I started on trying to revise the national clinical guidelines for schizophrenia. (To this day it’s so brutal what the monsters who call themselves the human race cares about doing to me instead of killing me by my consent.)

It was a way to try to find a way to survive my suicidality. Many have tried to care about me and they’ve failed to do the most important thing and that’s to save me from keeping on feeling suicidal and being made to feel suicidal. A major factor in this is that the monsters who call themselves the human race are devoid of the competency to feel empathy for me and have understanding of my being – I didn’t know this truth so clearly a decade ago but I know it without doubt today.

Happiness paled in comparison to suicidality and happiness was fleeting but suicidality is the constant. I didn’t recognise the truth about human brutalities and the evil brutal and inhumane nature of human nature as the cause back then but I see the truth so clearly now.

My suicidality was unfixable and unchangeable but I couldn’t kill myself. Nothing worked to give me a sustained amount of the constancy of wanting to live. My will to live was irreparably broken back then and today.

Then I read something that resonated with me. It was something Edwin Schneidman (a respected pioneer of suicidology who talked about suicide as caused by “psychache” so not caused by mental illness)  said as a quote from the book Moby Dick. I’m going to butcher the original quote here

“When it’s the cold dark winter of my soul I know it’s time to go to sea else it’s the pistol and ball”

The pistol and ball refers to a gun used for suicide. Captain Ahab speaks about suicide in this quote from the book Moby Dick.

In my interpretation of this quote the “sea” is something to fight for. Back then my sea was the betterment of the national clinical guidelines for schizophrenia.

Everyone had failed me so I had to come up with a way to survive this terrible life. My thoughts were that I could find this reason to stay alive to better the clinical guidelines for schizophrenia. It’s not a reason to live that has anything in common with being happy. I’d seen the problems with happiness versus suicidality 10-15 years ago. I suffer far far too much in life – that’s the eternal problem back then and today and no one has succeeded in caring about fixing this so I interpreted this quote as a method that would not solve my suicidality but it would be a reason to keep on surviving.

So I spent a couple of years reading research studies and information to try to better the clinical guidelines to ultimately shift the prognosis of victims of the label of schizophrenia. I kept on feeling suicidal and being made to feel suicidal – that’s the inevitability of my existence. But I’ve worked (paid employment) while feeling suicidal.

(I didn’t see the truth about human nature back then. I didn’t see that they are the monsters who call themselves the human race by name and by nature. I couldn’t see the truth about why they cannot do anything else and make any other choices but what led me to feel how I felt back then.)

I failed. It was obsessed by trying to use the existing science and the high quality science that would be acceptable to those who create and revise clinical guidelines to better the clinical guidelines but most of all to change the prognosis, to better the lives of the victims of the label of schizophrenia. The most important thing to me was to change the prognosis using the available science but I couldn’t do it. It drove me ‘crazy’ trying to use their science and research to change the prognosis.

I failed. But my mind and other consciousnesses kept on working on this and other things. It might not always be conscious what I do – but even this is a different understanding of my being to concepts of the conscious, unconscious and subconscious by which I mean that my being is made of multiple singular consciousnesses. This understanding of my mind and being has been met with what I can expect from the monsters who call themselves the human race and psychiatric and mental health professionals – they can only conceptualise this in terms of seeing mental illness so one of my frenemies (a psychologist) who I explained my diversity to back then could only conceptualise and understand this complexity of my mind and being as multiple personality disorder. That’s their instinct.

Since then and to now the monsters who call themselves the human race have burned my psyche and done abuses worse than torment to me and my soul because that’s what is acceptable to the medical profession. That’s their instinct and what comes naturally to human nature to do to me as long as I live.

In all of this I’ve seen something so clearly. They cannot do anything else and they cannot make any other choices when they have any power over my life and how I feel but what leads to the horrific beyond awfulness of existence I faced when I set myself this objective of bettering the clinical guidelines for schizophrenia because they are the monsters who call themselves the human race by name and by nature.

They cannot do anything else because they see mental illness and only monsters see mental illness – this defines the best and worst they can do in the name of care. No love for one’s fellow being comes from seeing mental illness but the limitless brutalities innate to human nature are something well served (not defended against) by the existence of psychiatry and the prevail of seeing mental illness – there’s far more truth in this assertion about why so many feel suicidal than in the application of the scientific method by doctors.

(I don’t get to hold my preconceived ideas and notions and beliefs – so many monsters born and bred evil judge me in life and that’s why my suicidality is so extremely unlimited and if you cannot recognise this truth on your own then you will never change from being the monsters you are born to be. My life could have been so different but feeling like this but it cannot be any different because of the truth about human nature.)

(What you should recognise about this project of mine to change the clinical guidelines for schizophrenia is a self sacrifice. I had no reason to live because I face the constancy of suicidality but I made a willing sacrifice in this choice to find a reason to survive the horrific beyond awfulness of feeling suicidal. This willing sacrifice I only made because I was still blind to the truth about human nature but now I see the truth about why the more power over my life and how I feel they have then the more they make me want to die again and again and never stop – you have no problems with this and that’s the proof of the truth about human nature. To be fair, any humane beings would find it completely obvious what is so wrong with the revised clinical guidelines for schizophrenia 10-15 years ago. I am alluding to the concept of a willing sacrifice in terms of keeping on living – here is the truth about human nature in how much you weigh the sacrifice of being forced to suffer and endure against one’s will the very things that makes death worth escaping from feeling and facing. You think it’s nothing to be forced to live against one’s will when you are all evil and only evil and devoid of even the slightest competency to be humane to suicidal individuals – that’s what comes from seeing mental illness.)

The hell of being victim of psychiatry and those who see mental illness

I do of course try to pursue my happiness in all these brutalities they do to me to make my suicidality as unlimited as possible (thousands of days because of the brutalities they want to do to a suicidal individual). A way to understand this is like trying to have happiness while you are being punched in the face again and again.

The unbearable pain was alone enough for me to need to die. Now they’ve inflicted even more reasons to die. What I see so very clearly is that if they are not so cruel then I would never need to die for safety from suicidality, from suffering too much worse than death.

The pain made to want to cease my conscious existence 10-15 years ago but I still had faith in the human race at this point. My faith blinded me. I thought they are humane so they could not be so cruel.

They’ve never stopped demonstrating that they are the monsters who call themselves the human race by name and by nature but I was blind to the truth because of my faith (and love) of the human race.

I see it so clearly now that the best they can ever be is monsters born and bred evil and that’s what defines the best they can do when they have any power over my life and how I feel. I see why they cannot do anything else or make any other choices than what achieves me feeling suicidal in over half of the days in the last quarter century – I truly know what it is to be a victim of psychiatry and the monstrous nature of human nature that defines all who sees mental illness.

I know why they can brutalise a suicidal individual without mercy, remorse or limit – this is what monsters want to do to a suicidal individual and the existence of psychiatry is all about what monsters want to do to a suicidal individual not in any way standing in harms way of the brutalities that causes suicidality. Inevitably my life was always going to be so bad that I face unlimited suicidality because psychiatric and mental health care is unlimited in the brutalities they want to do to a suicidal individual – they are always so brutal even in the name of care because that’s what comes from seeing mental illness.

They justify things as in my self interests but they’re completely blind to what my self interests are to this day. The evil, brutal and inhumane nature of human nature makes them completely blind to the pain I should never face in life. They’re so devoid of even the slightest competency to be humane that they cannot recognise that my self interests are so obviously and fundamentally in never feeling suicidal.

This is something fundamental to the brutalities psychiatrists and others who see mental illness can justify as care by forcing things on the victims of psychiatry the victim refuses, would never choose or consent to that they’re caring about the best interests of the victim – this is how they justify using any method no matter how cruel and evil it is on the victims of psychiatry for the justification of mental incompetency. Best interests is a concept associated with self interests. With this basis for care they have never stopped demonstrating that they only have the competency of monsters to guide them because they are absolutely blind to what my self interests are and they are completely and utterly heartless when they are ignoring what I feel and what they make me feel – that’s a basis for care but only by the standards of sadists and monsters born and bred evil.

Care blind to my self interests that rules over my existence and care blind to what are wholly unacceptable consequences to make me feel rules over how I feel – that’s what defines the best the monsters who call themselves the human race can do because the best they can be is a species of monsters born and bred evil. The competencies of monsters born and bred evil defines why they cannot do anything else when they have any power over my life and how I feel but achieve an extent of unlimited suicidality only bearable to monsters born and bred evil to achieve – and the beauty of the minds of monsters born and bred evil is to believe that they care about me by achieving my unlimited suicidality.

This is what I face in life and as long as I live. Blind to the pain I should never face in life – this defines their choices and actions justified as care. Blind to the truth that my self interests were in never feeling suicidal – this defines their choices and actions justified as care. Completely blind to when I’ve suffered too much already and been brutalised too much already – this defines their choices and actions justified as care. Blinded by their evil, brutal and inhumane nature of human nature to what are wholly, completely and utterly unacceptable consequences me – this defines their choices and actions justified as care.

You have to recognise why my life is always inevitably going to be this bad. Do you even recognise the problems like I do? You cannot fix the problems you cannot recognise on your own.

(The angels have wings and so does the devil. How do you know the difference? One way is about how they force you to suffer and endure against your will. The wings of angels stand in harms way of the brutalities in being forced to suffer and endure against one’s will suicidality. You know the devil’s own when you can only die for safety from being forced to suffer and endure against one’s will suicidality. Suicidality is caused by being forced to suffer and endure against one’s will too much.)

(I am alive and here to be brutalised without mercy or limit – the monsters who call themselves the human race have made this completely obvious by accepting the unlimited brutalities necessary to achieve my unlimited suicidality. You have no problems with this. You have no problems with the brutalities necessary to achieve my unlimited suicidality. You only make my life worse when you believe that the monsters who call themselves the human race cares about me by what they do to me instead of killing me by my consent and by what they do to make my suicidality as unlimited as is possible for sadists and monsters born and bred evil to bear to achieve.)

(You really do need to recognise the truth about what a species of monsters born and bred evil pays monsters to do to a suicidal individual. There are sadists paid to have power over my life and how I feel.)

(You need to know the pain of never looking forward to seeing anyone ever again. You need to know the pain that makes death better than being cared about by the monsters who call themselves the human race. You need to know the pain of having your humanity betrayed by everyone you’ve ever met and more. You need to feel the pain of facing such a brutal sense of care as I do in life that succeeds in ruining my life so completely then follows on by making your suicidality as unlimited as mine is.)

(I define hell on Earth as a place where I can only die for safety. I can only die for safety from suicidality and the monsters who call themselves the human race.)